Bored Writing: Rejections Reflection ft Sendora Brown

Get a view and perception..my opposites my monster..Rejections Reflection!

Sendora:

How do you let go of hurt?

Where are the directions?

These self inflicted pains,

Nothing short of reflections,

This troubled root runs deep,

From the seed of deception,

Can't load it on ones shoulders,

There's far too many connections,

Or lack there of

...I'm so afraid,

That I push back love,

Feeling unworthy,

I don't deserve thee,

And I'll make anyone suffer,

Who thinks that they can earn me!?

Bleed out my scars,

To stoke up my pangs,

I'd lure you close first,

Then show you my fangs,

Because we're in this together...

If I hurt,

You hurt,

That don't sever,

I prefer to eat your heart out,

And wear that on my sleeve,

..Sport you like a sweater,

Before I up and leave,

With words like "I adore you"

Build you up tall,

Have you high,

And then floor you,

Jot you down for a rainy day,

Then store you,

Like canned goods collecting dust,

On a shelf in a cabinet,

Locked away in myself,

I hurt you out of habbit,

Of being hurt...

My retaliation sickens me,

It's all bitter,

No sweet,

And to my end only quickens me,

An attractive monster,

Adorned in glittering hate...

I don't want the sun to set on me,

In this provoked state..

So wait..

Ty:

Yea, so my heart IS on my sleeve,

I'm hangin on a limb,

Yoked by my heart,

So im dangling again

..And NO you don't know!

...And i know you don't care,

-__- well not like i wanted,

Used to saying: "Life isn't fair"

But it's death that isn't fair!

A figurative grave,

Where you live and your mind is unconsciously aware

You think, but your mind isn't mentally prepared

So your blood floods out and it goes nowhere

What a waste of life

..Well blood is life

And 'Jesus shed blood',..Even 'thru his mind'

''Blood sweat' and tears,

Messages from peers,

Words written down carry no meaning foreal

But this is how i feel

It's strange in my mind

And its weird that i prefer to be strange all the time

Like im really that different

..Like i really stand out

When im really someone less that everyone who is about

..And im really undeserving of a life without doubt

.Because i sin

..and i hurt

...and i loiter about

Words dripping from my fingers,

And thoughts sittin on my mind

Ironically most of this 'crap' wont leave my 'behind'

Just a cloud over head,

With heat synced frequencies,

So whereever i go, the rain for sure follows me

And these puddles..they start swallowing!

Engulfed by a gulf,

Eaten by the seas,

And spit onto the turf

..Now i lay fetal-like in a ball on the earth

And my money and my jewelry loses all of its worth

Dumb..

Just a dreaming bum,

Laying in the path getting kicked by some

All starting from that thing with a beat like a drum

And musically it ended in none

So run!

And no don't 'wait' for the gun 

~wind blows!